This is the definitive, 100% accurate ranking.
27 Dresses is, without doubt, one of the best rom-coms to emerge from the late 2000s.
Yeah, I said it.
For those who have never watched this cinematic masterpiece, the premise is that Jane (Katherine Heigl) is always a bridesmaid, never a bride. She gets to know Kevin (James Marsden), a journalist with his own agenda. Cue her own journey to being a bride, complete with one beautiful montage in which she models her many bridesmaids dresses for Kevin.
It's a good opportunity to do the best part of wedding culture: judging the fashion. Here is a ranking of all the dresses we see...
27. The Bo Peep dress
As Kevin says in the movie, the theme of this dress seems to be "humiliation". Fun for a costume party, maybe, but not much else.
26. The green '80s number
I want to know what year Jane was meant to be a bridesmaid in when she wore this. Not a good look past 1990.
25. The olive dress
The cut of this dress isn't great, but it's passable — the color, however, is just the worst. The kind of bridesmaids dress that makes you think the bride is punishing you.
24. The pink peplum
Remember when peplums were a whole thing? This dress has a lot going on, and again, is very '80s.
23. The pale pink ball gown
There's nothing particularly offensive about this dress, but there's nothing particularly nice about it either. The color is nice, I guess?
22. The ultimate bridesmaid dress
When you picture a stereotypical bridesmaid dress, it probably looks a lot like this. For such a bland dress, there's A LOT happening. The collar! The sparkles! The tie at the waist! It's basically a Franken-dress.
21. The blue lacy dress
I feel like there's a world where this dress is not terrible — if it were a bit shorter, with a different waistline, maybe — but we do not live in that world.
20. The mint bolero look
This is a lovely color but the style is such a painfully '00s look it's hard to think fondly of it. The bolero! We were subjected to so many boleros!
19. The pink '80s number
Another bizarrely '80s outfit, but weirdly flattering? I don't hate it and I can't quite say why.
18. The yellow outfit
The color is great on Jane. The top half of the dress isn't bad. The bottom half is a little bad. The accessories are a lot bad.
17. The blue bustle
The color is nice, and so is the beading, but the style is awful. The bustle, in particular, is heinous.
16. The lacy look
With some edits, this dress could actually look really great. But she high-key looks like the mother of the bride at an '80s wedding.
15. The Barbie dress
This dress gives an extreme Barbie vibe. Not a bad thing — except Jane looks extreeeeemely uncomfortable in it, so it loses a lot of points for that.
14. The cowgirl fit
Is this absurd for a wedding? Yes. But doesn't she look kinda cute? And she'd totally be able to repurpose that outfit, with some alterations.
13. The short strapless blue dress
Contrary to some of the other dresses, this dress is peak 2008. It's not the worst. But it's far from the best.
12. The dress-and-hat combo
The dress itself is not bad at all — I think the layered skirt is kind of nice — but the hat! Oh, the hat is bad.
11. The pink and yellow fluffball
This dress is kind of terrible but also kind of incredible? Maybe I've been staring at too many bad dresses, maybe it's just the delight in Jane's pose here, but there's something so fun about it.
10. The goth look
We unfortunately can't see what this dress really looks like — but from what we can see it's kind of fine? I mean, a spiked choker is not what many of us would pick for our wedding, but Jane looks pretty hot.
9. The pink sweetheart dress
This is another very '00s dress, but all things considered it holds up pretty well. Jane is forced into a lot of pink dresses, but this shade is particularly great on her.
8. The scuba glam
I can feel some anger already about how high this is on the list. But look, it's RIDICULOUS — yet also fun and adorable. It makes me smile, and it gets a Top 10 spot for that alone.
7. The kimono
This is really pretty! Just not a fave.
6. The whimsical peach
Objectively, I think this dress is kind of ugly. But Jane floats around like a fairy with such joy and whimsy, I can't help but love it.
5. The tophat dress
The tophat is, well, over-the-top, but I actually think this dress is really, really cute.
4. The suit
I'd enjoy this more if the tailoring was better, but considering the '00s setting, this is pretty damn good.
3. The empire-waist dress
Maybe I watch too many Jane Austen period dramas, but I'm a huge fan of this silhouette. She looks lovely!
2. The sari
This is the best bridesmaid look, no doubt about it.
1. The wedding dress
OF COURSE this is the winner. It's her wedding dress! The whole movie has been building up to this! It's simple, but Jane looks beautiful in it. What's not to love?
Obviously this ranking is correct, but if you feel like telling me I'm wrong (I'm not) — how would you rank Jane's dresses?
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February 22, 2021 at 05:46AM
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