I have a confession. I wasn’t excited to go wedding dress shopping.
From the moment Stephen and I got engaged inquiring minds wanted to know: Have I thought about my dress? What styles do I like? When was I going shopping? Every question filled me with an overwhelming sense of dread.
It’s not like I hadn’t imagined my “Say Yes to the Dress” moment at least one thousand times. I had. I just had convinced myself I wasn’t going to get it.
And here’s why: The wedding industry puts unnecessary pressure on brides. There. I said it. Phew! A weight has been lifted.
In all sincerity, the expectations of a bride on her wedding day are immense. Some of it is justified. After all, it is the biggest event of your life and you want to look and feel your best.
I felt this insane pressure to be in the best shape of my life. In the month leading up to my dress-shopping experience, I told myself I was going to diet hardcore. I even purchased a prepackaged meal kit online to help me stick to my new diet.
I was convinced I was “sweating for the wedding” in order to make my dress-shopping experience a happy and fulfilling one. I told myself that because I am not a sample size, and I was sure the dresses in stock wouldn’t look good on me and I wouldn’t be able to find anything that made me feel beautiful.
I had totally convinced myself that if I didn’t look a certain way, I wasn’t going to find a dress -- despite knowing there were at least three amazing local stores with styles that suited my personal taste.
This is “toxic wedding culture” to the extreme. It’s the same little voice in my head that is telling me I need false eyelashes and a spray tan before I take engagement pictures next month despite having naturally long lashes and my fiancé’s insistence that my alabaster skin tone is pretty.
But then something happened. Well, Christmas happened. I know I’ve said that Halloween is my favorite holiday. I mean, we’re getting married the day before, but I love Christmas just as much. Between all the goodies our staff was getting during the week to help keep morale high at the school and the hundreds of Christmas cookies my mom made for our family, I simply couldn’t diet.
The night before my dress-shopping appointment, my best friend Jordan texted, asking if I was excited. I told her no. I told her I felt like an alien because everyone expected me to be excited but I was nervous, and worried that the trip would turn into a disaster and end with me in a spiral of self-loathing.
I know I’ve mentioned how amazing my friends are, but truly, my bridesmaids are the most supportive and strong women. Ugh. I could gush about them all day.
Jordan assured me that I was not an alien -- at least not for the reason I shared. “That’s how I felt," she told me. "We’re our harshest critics. Our bodies are amazing no matter where they’re at. Just enjoy! You have no stress to buy anything tomorrow. And if you do, well, amazing!”
It definitely helped ease my anxiety and the next morning I woke up giddy. My first (and spoiler alert: only stop) was ARC Bridal. From the minute I entered the store, they made me feel like a rock star, and to my surprise I looked great in almost everything I tried on — even a mermaid gown that showed off a lot more of my body than I was comfortable with.
The stylist (whose name has escaped me and for that I am truly sorry) picked up on my style right away and pulled an amazing gown for my second try-on.
Dress after dress, I kept thinking about that second gown. Finally, we tried it again -- this time with some embellishments and a veil. At some point I said, “I don’t want to take it off.” Then she said, “Molly, are you saying yes to the dress?” Before I could even utter the word yes, I burst into tears. I felt like a bride!
The gals brought out champagne and even gifted me an adorable accessory. (I’m being purposefully vague in my descriptions in case nosy fiancés are reading, hoping for the inside scoop.)
I cannot recommend the staff at ARC Bridal enough. They were professional, safe, kind, fun and never once made me feel insecure. More than that: they were my biggest fans, hyping up the experience. If I could shop there every time I needed an outfit, I would.
All of this to say, yes, you should absolutely want to feel beautiful on your wedding day. But you shouldn’t need to feel MORE than what you already are. Although, I still might get that spray tan.
Interested in becoming a Wedding Essentials blogger? Email chris.christen@owh.com and let's get the conversation started!
January 29, 2021 at 08:00PM
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Molly: The expectations I put on myself nearly ruined my dress-shopping experience - Omaha World-Herald
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